Thursday, 28 May 2015

A letter to the NHS Maternity Department




Dear Baroness Julia Cumberlege ( You seem appropriate)

I should have written this letter a long time ago, but I have been too busy enjoying my baby and quite frankly wanted to forget my horrific birth experience which involved one too many of your agency midwifes.

After speaking to numerous women over the course of the last year, I realized it wasn't just me who suffered at the mercy of your agency midwifes ( I think they would be more suited to a career in the prison service or military, and probably a lot happier), therefore I felt compelled to write this letter on behalf of all of them.

My son was born in 2014 at The Princess Royal University Hospital in Orpington. Why did I choose to have my baby here?  I bitterly regret this now, but at the time I was given good recommendations ( these women probably had quick day time labours) and it was 5 minutes from my mother in laws house.  I won't bore you with the details but I had numerous appointments prior to the birth due to blood pressure issues,  so I had time to get used to the hospital and get to know the staff. I had no fears. Unfortunately, my labour progressed during the night, which is when your agency staff came into play. Or rather not play.

I was in agony as my contractions started building up.I begged for paracetamol only to be told ' you don't need it, nothing has even started yet'. Very belittling considering I am a grown adult. Trust me,  I would have happily walked down the road to get some myself, but I was hardly in a position to. Perhaps I should have attempted it anyway.Normally,  I have no problem standing up for myself, but being that vulnerable I could not muster the courage to do so. At this point I was vomiting severely every 5 minutes, running to the toilet. Your agency midwife was outside the toilet doing her paperwork. I was pretty loud, so I am sure the other end of Kent heard me. I was running around that toilet , banging the walls and screaming. At no point did she ask if I was ok, she  completely ignored me and carried on with what she was doing. Probably updating her facebook status and filing her nails .I was alone. I was scared. My body was out of control.

When it was time to go to the labour ward, I was made to carry my own bags. I hobbled after her with about 3 bags in my hand, trying not to vomit and open my bowels all over the corridor. I wish I had have done now and left her to clean it up.It would have given her some work to do all night at least. As soon as I arrived at my own room, I headed straight to the toilet to carry on vomiting. I was then introduced to my new midwife, who will be 'looking after me' .The first things she  asked me was 'why are you in the toilet vomiting when I need to get you on the monitor'. Nice to meet you too and by the way, no I am not ok but I feel safer and happier crouched down on this smelly toilet than being in there with you. Oh and thanks for your support.

Thankgod for gas and air and epidurals. They have a knack of blocking out more than just physical pain.

7am came , and your wonderful day staff came to rescue the day.

My son was delivered via c section , although he had breathing issues, that is another story.

So what is your interview process when employing agency staff then? Sorry, first of all, do you have one? Do they have to undergo some kind of trial run including observations? I am not sure they do so there is a suggestion for you.Perhaps the HR department require some training too. There are plenty of HR seminars and courses they could attend alongside refreshers.

A lot of women are at the mercy of the NHS and put their faith in the system. We cannot all afford to pay private, but we do  pay our taxes and your wages , so we ask for some respect and a kind heart in such traumatic circumstances.


Yours sincereley,

Mrs Mulligan




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Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Goodbye May, Hello June - How to stay positive

Morning Readers,





May 2015 has been a challenging month for me.  However, this is life. You have good times and bad times. If you never have bad times, how do you appreciate the good times?

My May 2015 in a nutshell 

I had a huge falling out my with neighbors (who are also really good friends), my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, and last week my husbands auntie passed away quickly within a day. I have also had sh*tty letters from the Inland Revenue, a messed up monthly cycle and lots of anxiety. This must have caused more stress then I am aware of.

I am not asking for your sympathy, but rather just to say I feel you, and  it does get better. It is hard to remain positive when you feel like everything is falling apart,  but I always think this: 'Bad times pass and don't last forever'.  My little boy , my husband, and all the things I do have keep me going. When I have these low moments, I like to do small nice things for myself. Eat an amazing piece of cheese. Have a coffee and read a mag. Write a list. Read a book ( well that was too optimistic as I have a very active and energetic toddler). Do a fake tan session.

When people say 'Stay Positive', isn't  that just the most annoying phrase ever? Sometimes you just want to hear ' That is shit Ellie. Really shit. I can't say when, but it will get better'.

Focus on all the good things you have . Have endless conversations in your head about all the amazing things you have, and the bad will start to looks less black and more grey.

I would also recommend 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. It is a truly inspirational read.

Saying that, I am looking forward to moving forward  and enjoying what June has to offer.

Love Ellie x



Sunday, 24 May 2015

Mini BabyGap Haul

Morning Lovelies,


WHY are children so easy to spoil?! These retailers are smart. In the week, I  swung by BabyGap after a meeting with no intention of spending. £64 later you can guess what happened.

BabyGap is expensive. There is no doubt about it. However, their clothes are so beautiful and excellent quality. Normally I get Jack's clothes from Tesco or Asda due to  the rate he grows, it does seem really pointless to spend loads of money to get only a few wears. I am not THAT tight though. From time to time I like spend a bit more money because I enjoy  treating him. 

So without much further ado, if you are nosy, read on to see what I picked up......





Fire Truck Pyjamas - £15

 I ADORE the waistband on these, and love the stripes, and the fire engine truck. You can't see here, but the top has 1986 on the bottom. My year of birth.

Polo Shirt - £15

I love LOUD colours, and I think Jack really suits polo shirts.



Hoodie - £23

It is now too warm for a coat, but for those chilly days, a hoodie is a lighter alternative. I love the colours and it will go with everything.

Shorts - £8

I haven't come across any bright red shorts in many places so this jumped out at me, especially as we have 2 holidays approaching. Even thought it has a button, they are actually pull on. Streamlined dressing at its best.They will compliment the polo shirt.

Socks - £4 for 2 pairs

What is it about socks that get so dirty?! You can never have enough. I picked up 2 pairs, the other pair was in the wash.


Cannot WAIT to visit again.

Love Ellie x





Mummascribbles

Thursday, 21 May 2015

At what point should you be concerned about your child's development?

Morning,






I know I am biased, but my son is a happy, content, gorgeous little boy. However, as much as people say to me his development is fine ( which I know it is as he has eventually reached milestones), he has been a lot slower than the average kid. I know milestones are a basic indicator, but there is no doubt about it, for his age, he has been very late with a lot of things.

He sat up at 7 months , started commando crawling at 8 months, and didn't crawl hand and knees until 12 months. He is now 15.5 months old and still isn't walking. He cruises around furniture, and sometimes stands alone for about 3 seconds. He has only just learnt to use a sippy cup.His speech isn't that developed either. He can say mumma, dadda ( but not directly to either of us), and once said go. That is it. I also don't think he really understands me either. A lot of the time I say his name, and he totally ignores me. When also I say no, or basic things, I really don't think he understands me either.

I feel kind of like I have failed here. I think maybe I haven't put enough time in. I feel like I have been teaching him the wrong things. What could I have done better? Does he watch too much TV? Do I spend too much time working?  I am at the point now where I am beating myself up.

We go to baby groups ( structured/non structured), we have holidays, we get out the house most days,he has a child minder so interacts with others, I try creative play from pinterest. Is this not enough?

I understand parents are really proud when their child hits a milestone and they boast about it on social media, but for me, rightly or wrongly, I feel like this is really rubbing it in. If your child only does something once, why say they are officially doing it? I find that pretty muggy. Unless it is jealousy, in that case it is awful I feel that way.

Being a mother is so mentally exhausting.

Should I be concerned about his development? Surely there has to be a point when there is a reason for concern. Am I at this point? Could anyone shed some light on this?


Love Ellie x



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Mediterranean Feta & Chilli Board

Morning,

Another recipe for you guys!

Probably not the healthiest as it contains bread and cheese, but I think if you had a dinner party it would be an impressive appetizer. We ate this for dinner and shared it because we were not overly hungry. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will have come to realise I always post really easy recipes with minimal ingredients. I love experimenting and cooking, but for me, recipes with loads of ingredients and a lengthy method deters me. My husband made this dish.





Ingredients

1 x Mediterranean Loaf
Block of feta cheese
3 spring onions
1 whole chorizo sausage
 Half a green chilli
Half a bag of rocket salad

To serve: Generous drizzle of natural yoghurt

Method:

1. Chop the spring onions, chilli & chorizo, mix and lightly fry in a pan with olive oil until nicely coated. I would say for 15 mins.

3. Slice the bread as above and butter and place on your serving board of choice ( I used a chopping board). 

4. Place the feta onto the serving board and arrange in the middle of the bread.

5. Add the chorizo mixture on top of the feta cheese.

6.. Finish with rocket all over and drizzle the yoghurt.



Enjoy!

Love Ellie x